The Pants Rant
Everybody wears pants. I know you might be thinking, "Why is he writing about pants, of all things?" Just work with me here.
Pants (short for "pantaloons") are something we use every single day of our lives, except for those days when we lie on our couch in pajamas with a giant bag of Cheetos and watch an entire concert video of some Norwegian Viking folk metal band, because we don't feel like doing anything productive that day. HHS has recently been cracking down on students who violate the school dress code, especially concerning the types of pants people wear.
A popular fashion trend that has shown up in recent years is what I like to call, "Pre-Holed Pants." That is my term for the pants that you buy in various clothing chains, such as Abercrombie and Fitch or American Eagle, which already have holes, rips, and tears put into them when you buy them. First of all, if you want torn, holed-up jeans, then instead of spending upwards of $70 dollars or more, here's a thought: why don't you go buy a $20 dollar pair of pants and a $10 dollar pair of scissors at Wal-Mart, and MAKE THE HOLES YOURSELF?!
But get this--after doing some field research in a clothing store that will go partially unnamed (Abercrombie ___ Fitch), I have made the staggering discovery that these "Pre-Hold Pants" actually cost MORE MONEY that non-holed pants! In other words, you're paying MORE for LESS! Where's the logic in THAT?!
I have no sympathy for those who get punished for violating the dress code. Use your money more wisely. Buy me stuff.
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Comments
Jeans: about £5 from the market
Holes: nothing
Total for that look: £5 (They called it "Trendy"- I aimed to be scruffy lol)
--
Don't Get Mad Get Evil!
Alls not fair in blood & gore!
So if ever you're feeling very small and insecure just think how amazingly unlikely is your birth,and pray that there's inteligent life somewhere up in space-coz theres bugger all down here on earth
--
Don't Get Mad Get Evil!
Alls not fair in blood & gore!
So if ever you're feeling very small and insecure just think how amazingly unlikely is your birth,and pray that there's inteligent life somewhere up in space-coz theres bugger all down here on earth
An actual critique about the article though- did you have a set word limit? Because although it's very much to the point and has a very valid arguement, you could have elborated much further to make it much funnier. After the third paragraph for example, you could have gone on a story about how you could bleach then, throw them into a death pool of acid, preferably with the owners still wearing them.
It's a good basis for a colum, but it's a short one.
--
'Time is an Illusion, lunchtime doubtly so.' - Ford Prefect
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You might even have quoted Coleridge's "Kubla Khan," thusly: "As if the world in fast thick pants were breathing..."
Peace,
Tora
--
Peace,
Tora
--Jax
--
Creator of Coca-Mint™
I want to get two customized license plates for my car. One that says CUSTOM, and another one that says PLATES. That way you don't even hafta think about it.
--Jax
--
Creator of Coca-Mint™
I want to get two customized license plates for my car. One that says CUSTOM, and another one that says PLATES. That way you don't even hafta think about it.
--Jax
--
Creator of Coca-Mint™
I want to get two customized license plates for my car. One that says CUSTOM, and another one that says PLATES. That way you don't even hafta think about it.
--
'Time is an Illusion, lunchtime doubtly so.' - Ford Prefect
[link]
The Crackpot Index Chart
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